Why is saying the right thing so hard?

Filed in Free Lessons on February 21, 2010



There is a reason why the Bible has so many warnings about an uncontrolled tongue.  When hasty words are combined with a lack of self control, great damage is inevitable (Proverbs 25:28).

Being wise with words is common sense.  Unfortunately, arrogance gets in the way.  You do not have to look very hard to see examples of arrogance making people act very stupidly.

Consider the recent Tiger Woods fiasco.  Tiger Woods just apologized in an apparently sincere way.  Unfortunately, his less-controlled caddie had to open his unrestrained mouth today, stating that he would "not allow" heckling of Tiger Woods.

Oh really?  How is he going to stop it? By knocking a few fans down?  Last time I checked, caddies had no authority to stop fans from heckling, which is an unfortunate part of golf just like all other sports.  All that arrogant posturing is going to do is create more heckling.  I can only imagine how much heckling there will be of both Tiger and his arrogant caddie when they return to the PGA.

Imagine if Tiger took a different tactic.  What if he told his caddie to keep his mouth shut and publicly said something like this: "I have made horrible mistakes.  I deserve to be heckled.  If you heckle me, I won't blame you.  But I hope that I can someday regain your trust."

Which tactic would result in the less heckling?

I remember going into a little grocery store in Gatlingburg, TN about a year ago.  A sign on the door said this: "Don't even ask if we have public bathrooms."

Who is dumb enough to put up a sign like that?  What kind of taste does that leave in the mouth of customers? And do you think that the sign lessened the number of customers asking for restrooms?  Not hardly; I would bet that numerous customers asked where the bathrooms were after seeing the sign just to be funny or spiteful.

Doesn't it make more common sense to put up a sign like this? "We are sorry but we do not have public restrooms.  Thanks for bearing with us."

As a side note, I was in Gatlinburg, TN a few weeks ago and actually went back to the store because I wanted to take a picture of that sign.  They have apparently learned their lesson because they removed the sign.  Now they simply have a sign that says "No public restrooms."  That is an improvement, but they still have a lot to learn.

Small businesses make this mistake constantly.  They plaster their businesses with negative-sounding signs.  They fill their websites with restrictive policies.  They need a little common sense and a little less arrogance.  The days of treating customers like children are over.

And of course, the Bible tells us about Rehoboam who listened to the wrong advisers.  I Kings 12 recounts how his arrogance cost him the majority of what should have been his kingdom.

Letting arrogance win out over common sense is always harmful.  It is highly ironic that Tiger Woods with all his money cannot find public consultants who can control his image better.  The first thing they should have done is muzzle his silly caddie.

All of us need to be conscious of the harm that arrogance can do in our relationships, family, businesses, and churches.












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